Step 7: Second Script Draft
Based on the responses from the 30 candidates who participated in the questionnaire we found that their were elements to the script that needed to be changed. The candidates responded in a way that suggested they would expect to see more iconography of the future, to achieve this we have decided to add characters who work for the dictator to be on the hunt for those who sell the Playback tapes to constantly reinforce it is an alternative world to now, it is a dictator led future. The addition of the two henchman will lead the audience to think Vera has been caught as they knock on her door shortly after encountering them in an underpass. We have added the underpass scene as we wanted to comply with the audience responses and change Vera's environment from being in the same alleyways. Whilst in the underpass a playback junkie will ambush Vera asking for a tape or two. As this is occurring, parallel editing will show the two henchman approaching Vera, it will create suspense for the audience making them wonder if Vera is about to get caught. As they reach Vera she has just finished and walks on buy, clutching onto her briefcase, this makes the Henchman turn around and stare at Vera. They later knock on her door, leading the audience to believe she has been caught once again but they are making their rounds to see if the photo of the dictator is hanging on her wall(it is a requirement). By following the short film guide I feel that our production is more organised and well thought through in comparison to our As year production.
The Second Script:
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